Get a Job, Don't Be a Hater

Fanboy wars are nothing new, and have been plaguing the web for far too long. Maybe it’s internet anonymity…maybe it’s the lack of competition….maybe it’s just plain absurd loyalty, but regardless, I am here to tell you, right now, I don’t give a flying fuck what console, game series, or smartphone you prefer.

The word Fan comes from the word Fanatic for a reason: it’s the most blatant and obvious flaw in any fanboy’s argument: intense and uncritical devotion to a product. When you are a Fan of something, you tend to developed an intense devotion and particular bias for that brand. I personally believe Fanboyism is a direct result to the lack of variety in the marketplace. However, just because we may only have 3 things to choose from does not mean there is a right and wrong answer. This all boils down to 3 facts, which I will gladly explain:

1.)   Fanboys are insecure. Plain and simple. That’s it. These are individuals who use a particular brand or product to shield themselves from negative interaction. (or one could say ANY social interaction). How do I know this? Just open up a web-browser and hit up the comment section on ANY blog, YouTube channel, or message forum. Just be sure not to spend too much time sweating it out, deciding if you should use Chrome or Safari. The cesspool of dark, cyber-rhetoric can be seen from just about every facet of the internet. Maybe it’s a kid suffering from buyer’s remorse, or a faithful fan who believes his company can do no wrong. Regardless,  people who spend hours & hours upon end vomiting up contradictory replies on web forums are simply self-doubting consumers who just want to bitch, without being identified. It’s one of the key reasons I wish there was no internet anonymity. Maybe then, people would think before they type “PS3 SUXORZ, XBOX RULES”. And that’s just the PG crap. More often than not, fanboys resort to the darkest part of humanity; spouting out racial slurs, and derogatory remarks that I’m most certain we will be judged upon come the Armageddon. And it’s unfortunate because I’d hate to spend an eternity suffering in Hell because YOU felt that need to call some Xbox fan a mutated, dead fetus. I don’t care if you're 13 or 30….grow the fuck up.

2.)   What’s good for goose isn’t always good for the gander. In other words, just because you love the PS3, or Wii, or Xbox, or Coldplay’s new album doesn’t mean I have to love it. So fuck off. Could you imagine a world where everyone liked the same shit? How fucking boring would that be? And even though you could attribute fanboy wars to a lack of product competition, we still have choices. And for that, you should be thankful. What fanboys fail to understand is that without choice, we are doomed to a life of shitty service, and mediocrity. If the Xbox failed, Sony would no longer have to invest in R&D, and thus would no longer feel the need to be innovative: Customer service would soon go down the shitter, and you’d be left with a defective or outdated device. Or what if Sony failed?  You think Microsoft would have felt hard pressed to replace all those defective 360 consoles for free? WRONG. And this leads me to my last point: Fanboys are blinded by their devotion, and thus make for shitty consumers. If shit breaks, SPEAK UP. Hold that company accountable for their mistakes. That’s called being a RESPONSIBLE CONSUMER. No one is perfect. No one is above the law. And no one is immune to criticism. You shouldn’t fear or beseech your favorite brands and manufacturers. They should FEAR YOU! You are the one who buys their shit. None of us get an endless supply of free passes in this life, and neither should your favorite brands or products.


3.)   Get a job, make your own money, and you can have it all.  Maybe not a timeshare in Aspen, but at the very least, a few electronic gadgets you can call your own. I own all 3 consoles. I love them all for different reasons. (hmm…with the exception to the Wii. That thing is nothing more than a white, plastic paperweight. However, It has its attractors.)   And yes, I realize I am one of the lucky ones who makes enough money to purchase all three consoles. But you’d be kidding yourself if you think that makes me feel guilty. I work hard so I can play harder. And for those kids out there in school who need to take a break from shoddy parenting, here is my attempt at inspiring you: Not much in life will make you feel as good then when you learn to demonstrate SELF-RELIANCE. No joke folks. The ability to work hard, feed yourself, & pay your own bills is a truly liberating feeling. Even if you can’t afford much, the money you do decide to spend is YOURS. No more begging your parents and relatives for cash and gifts. Now when you buy something, you know you truly earned it. And of course, you have to live within your means, which could influence you purchasing decision when buying a new “toy”. But, here’s the rub: Talking shit, and instigating drama just because you can’t afford all 3 consoles, or more than one smart phone, or a Mac, or good haircut just makes you look like a douche. Don’t be a hater. Let it motivate you, and drive you to accomplish your goals, and earn your keep. And most importantly, just enjoy what you like without worrying about what others think. You can’t please everyone, so why bother trying.

 So, that pretty much ends my rant on Fanboys. Truth be told, I have no delusions of grandeur that this blog post will bring Internet flame wars to an end. Like I said above, the Internet, similar to the world, would be a boring place if everyone agreed with each other. My goal here was to simply educate those who cared enough to listen. To inspire critical thinking, and reason before responding to a hateful comment, or a ludicrous message forum.  Fanboyism and trollish behavior is similar to flamboyant advertising: If enough people ignore it, it will go away.  But really, who gives a shit if you have a PS3, and your best friend has an Xbox 360? This isn’t an infringement on your “inalienable” rights. It’s simply modern day consumerism. Enjoy the games.